Never Will I Ever
Did you ever play that childhood game, “Never Have I Ever”? It’s an engaging, interactive group game designed to help players get to know each other by asking about funny, private, or embarrassing things they haven’t done. If someone has “done it” they must point their finger up. Of course, the adult version involves alcohol. Either way the laughter, gasps, and unforgettable moments keep it moving quickly until the game is done.
What’s kind of interesting is that people do something very similar in their lives without even realizing they’re doing it.
I call it . . . Never Will I Ever. . . And we’ve all “done it”.
Below are three short, simple stories - Can you relate?
Charlotte had been dating Eric for a little over a year. She was in Love and often ruminated that Eric might just be “the one”. He was smart, handsome, and a successful sales manager. And although he said he was busy a lot and wasn’t always consistent with staying in touch, she made sure she was available for fun adventures whenever he was free. Lately, he seemed more distant, and she was wondering where their relationship was going. Eventually he called to tell her she deserved better and that they weren’t going to work out. As Charlotte’s angry tears and broken heart hit the floor, she vowed, “Never Will I Ever date someone in sales ever again!”
WHAT IF the Universe had a plan for Charlotte to meet the kindest, most loving, wholesome, and dedicated man in six months, except that he’s from a close-knit family in charge of sales for their family-owned business. What if she was supposed to learn what NOT to tolerate in her relationships and life rather than wholesale eliminate potential partners based on their career choices.
* * * * *
Phillip had a last-minute in-person meeting scheduled at their New York office with his team and the president for that region to discuss revenue and marketing strategies for the new year, among other things. And because there was no chance of getting there any earlier, Phillip felt grateful to have found the flight he did. But just before he was supposed to board the plane, he learned his flight was delayed. The pilot’s shift was ending soon, and he needed to sleep. One hour became two as the airline searched for a new flight crew and Phillip knew he wasn’t going to make it on time. As a frustrated Phillip made alternative arrangements, he vowed, “Never Will I Ever fly with this airline ever again!”
WHAT IF the Universe had planned for Phillip to be offered a top executive position during an interesting conversation with the CEO of a Fortune 500 company in three months on the same airline he promised never to fly with again. What if he was supposed to learn compassion and patience rather than blame an entire company for missing his meeting.
* * * * *
Little Tommy was the cutest, most lovable little boy with a curious nature and the kindest heart. His momma had died years earlier, though, and his dad was pretty busy most of the time. Tommy often played alone, but he learned to take care of himself and have fun with whatever he did. Tommy missed his mom so much and he wished so hard his dad would play with him and be proud of him. When Tom grew up, he forged a successful life spending his days off having fun and making decisions on his own whether he had a partner or not. He did crave an intimate heart connection with a good woman but always seemed to choose partners who didn’t Love him the way he needed it. This only seemed to confirm certain insecurities and a vow he made as a child, “Never Will I Ever depend on anyone ever again”.
WHAT IF the Universe had planned to send Tom the most heart-filled, supportive, and loving woman just after the new year to be his partner for life except that she had already healed her abandonment and trust issues and wanted a man who had done that work, too. What if he was supposed to heal these inner child wounds so he could receive and above all, trust this new Love rather than continue supporting relationships with women who weren’t capable of connecting in the first place.
When you speak “never” into your relationships, experiences, and life, you are literally weaving negativity into the fabric of it. I’m sure sometimes it might feel empowering to do that, but it ends up being very spiritually restrictive and weak instead. We’ve all done this, including me. It’s something I had to let go of and do the work of healing at the root as well, so you’re not alone with this.
The way to a more expansive, rewarding, and fulfilling life is to heal whatever hurt you at its root cause so that you can make choices that help you achieve your goals without limiting your options, opportunities, and blessings at the same time.
- And Remember -
The “What If’s” of life are often golden moments for opportunity - a gamble if you will - even when you’re unable to immediately understand why or see the benefits that lie ahead of you.
Affirmations:
I withdraw all ‘Never Will I Ever’ statements from my past, present, and future, and across all dimensions and time.
I only allow healthy people, relationships, experiences, and opportunities that are in my highest and best good into my life.
I trust the process of my life unfolding, and I am grateful for the blessings and abundance meant for me.
(To explore opportunities at The Purple Tulip that can help you live authentically and more fully from an expansive and empowered place, please read more about the various services provided. I would be honored to guide you in any way I can.)
Photo credit ~ Pavel Danilyuk